Psychological Hardiness
GROWTH = CHALLENGE + SUPPORT
I am a firm believer that a person cannot succeed, or
obtain their goals in life, without also accepting failure in their lives. I frequently remind the youth that I work
with that I would not have the knowledge or understanding that I have today had
I not failed so many times at the many games in life. When I think back on the negative choices I
have make in the past, I am always able to come up with at least one positive
aspect that came with each negative experience.
I do not dwell on those “not so good” decisions, but I do let myself be
reminded of them, as to not make the same mistakes over again.
I also remind myself, frequently, that I am not able to change the past,
so that I am able to look towards the future with certainty, never allowing
what I am not able to change effect the goals that I wish to accomplish. My mother always said, “Kelli, you can do
anything you want. Reach for the stars!”
so that is what I will do.
Positive psychology is a topic that has passionately
caught my attention. I think that for a
person to grow, they must give way to the “tried and true” and make room for
“the new” and “change.” Without this
characteristic, we would not have all the new inventions, creations,
philosophies, and methods of doing things that continuously expand in our lives
today. Dr. Martin Seligman, founder of
Positive Psychology, found that people having buffers against extreme stress
more readily overcame obstacles in their lives.
These buffer traits include:
courage, optimism, interpersonal skills, work ethic, hope, honesty,
responsibility, and perseverance. During
Dr. Seligmans studies, he also identified several buffering traits that protect
people against stress and adversity, which would later be developed into a
framework by Dr. Salvatori Maddi known as “hardiness.” Psychological
hardiness refers to a persons ability to stand in defiance to challenges, and
bounce back from failure. People with
psychological hardiness have a valued sense of commitment to life and work. They are also engaged in circumstances going
on around them, and see challenges as a way to grow, rather than a danger to be
avoided. Psychological Hardy people also
hang when the going gets tough, and believe that “where the is a will, there is
a way.” If a person has a stress hardy
personality, they deal with stress without allowing it to cause an even greater
problem by learning to control how they react to the problems in a more
flexible, confident, and less destructive way.
The way a psychological hardy person deals with stress is known as “the
3 C’s,” which are challenge, control, and commitment.
The first C “challenge,” deals with how a person
perceives events that occur in their lives.
Psychological hardy individuals see problems as challenges, rather than threats. This means that these people will learn,
grow, and develop rather than retreat from their problems. They welcome new situations as opportunities
while getting busy to find solutions. In
most situations, they will exceed expectations in performance, leadership, and
health enhancing thoughts and behaviors, while looking at life with a “give it
your best shot” attitude.
The second C in psychological hardiness is
“control.” There are two distinct types
of control, Internal Locus control and External Locus control. Individuals who rate high on the
psychological hardiness scale have Internal Locus of Control, meaning that they
perceive themselves as “in charge,” and “responsible” for the outcomes of their
lives, feel in control of their destiny and direction in life, and have a
strong sense of self-efficacy. They also
understand that by intentionally developing and holding onto a positive,
optimistic, hopeful outlook, they can determine their reaction to any
predicament they may face, and feel confident to go into action. People who rank low on the psychological
hardiness scale have External Locus of Control, and tend to believe that they
have little or no control over what happens to them which leads to a sense of
helplessness and passivity. They tend to
feel powerless, and be “blamers,” and “complainers” while believing that what
happens to them is due to fate or destiny, and they have no influence over
it. In the end, people with Internal
Locus of Control end up being more successful because they have a realistic
attitude, and focus on changing the things they can and accepting the things
they cannot.
The third C in psychological hardiness is
“commitment.” People who are high on
commitment are fully engaged in what they are doing despite stressful changes
that may be taking place which helps them to feel important, and that their
actions are worthwhile. When a person is
committed to family, work, community, friends, religion, and themselves, it
gives their lives meaning and they have a sense of purpose. When a person is committed to a goal, they
tend to be more motivated and put in more effort which helps them to overcome
occasional losses and remain steadfast in their efforts. They give activities their best, not their
perfect, effort and have curiosity in what they are doing instead of feeling
detached and isolated.
As a person engages in the daily practice of hardiness,
they may be surprised to find that they are not only surviving, but that they
are also thriving on adversity. Once the
person sees themselves thriving, they are able to function even stronger,
better, and more joyfully than they did before the stress/hardship that they
had previously encountered. An IBT study
actually showed that psychological hardiness will enhance an individuals
performance, leadership, stamina, conduct, mood, and mental/physical health due
to the fact that these persons gain courage and capability to turn adversity
into advantage.
I believe that I have gained psychological hardiness over
the years. I go into every new
experience with a positive, “I can do it” attitude, but I also accept the fact
that I may fail, maybe even a few times.
I also know that with each failed attempt, I will gain a lesson
learned. This helps me to maintain the
outlook that I will do much better the next time, if not succeed. With each new goal that I set for myself, I
know and accept the fact that there is a great chance that I may fail, in some
sort of sense or standard. I use these
failed experiences to build, and
construct new ways of doing things, which thus in turn, leads to my mind
searching for creative and maybe original solutions. With each step I take, I obtain and evaluate
both positive and negative aspects, go with the flow, and attempt to grow from
them. Experience, both good and bad, is
a positive thing for me, as I am able to use them for advice, both for myself
and others. Self-gratification comes
from knowing although I may have made some bad choices, maybe I can save others
from doing the same.
As I speak from my heart and mind, without shame, I know
that my possibly embarrassing/shameful acts of the past will do more good than
bad by me using them to help direct others.
By caring for the futures of others, while being true to myself, I
accept and admit “not so proud” personal experiences with the passion to serve
others. As I help a person deal with
personal conflicts, they begin to grow, and I grow with them. I am no longer just one individual or
voice. I allow my mind, heart, and soul
to connect with them as I help them, through my own story, reflections, and
education. Then together we band in
unity, a force much greater than one. We
become one another’s rock, there to support and encourage one another. Through the newfound compassion for one
another, our strength grows, and we are able to pass along the torch of
understanding, sympathy, hope, and love to each person we encounter.
I believe that God put me on this Earth for a
reason. Maybe he knew that I had the
strength and will to overcome the many obstacles he placed in my life. Maybe he placed them there because he wanted
me to use my knowledge to help others who are less resilient. At one point in my life, I did not understand
why so many bad experiences/traumas, had to happen to me. Now I am thankful for even the most horrific
events that occurred in With each mountain that I had to climb, my strength and
courage climbed with it. Now, not only
am I becoming professionally educated on how to deal with the many types of
persons, victims, moods, behaviors, traumas, circumstances, and standards, I
also have my life’s many experiences to go with it. Knowledge not only comes from what we are
taught, what we read in books, what we see around us, or what we see on
television. KNOWLEDGE IS LIVING IT! Thankfully, I had my family. They were my “rock.” They were the foundation that kept me
grounded in times of turbulence, so that I was able to stand against the storm
in order to withstand the test of time.
Now I will use what I have learned.
I will be the foundation for others, or the loving family they may not
have to support them in their times of need.
I will never give up hope that we all have what it takes, and I will
bestow my courage onto others!
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