Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Oh the power of free will


          Some individuals, rather than choosing to be the best possible versions of themselves, choose to live their lives by social comparison.  Rather than coming up with their own specific goals, standards, values, and expectations, they choose to live life by what others view as acceptable or appropriate.  There are specific talents and traits that lie within each of us that make each of us unique compared to all  other individuals, and through self-reflection, a person can become aware of the infinite possibilities that lies within them, learn to accept the things that they cannot change, and choose to work on the things that they can.

            From the time a person is born, their identities and self-concepts are shaped through their environments and interactions with others.  Significant others can tremendously effect the way we view ourselves, and our self esteem, since the opinions of the ones we care about tend to be important determining factors in our reflected appraisal.  Our looking glass self tends to determine our choice in behaviors and interactions with others as we tend to act out in ways that are expected of us by others.  What if we chose to do some self evaluating to see if our self-concept was positive or negative, or if the significant others in our lives were passing a supportive or negative influence in our lives?  Is our self-esteem good or bad?  Do we feel like we can give tasks our all?  Do we think that we can accomplish things that we put our mind to?  Can we not compare ourselves to our reference groups, but rather to our perceived and presenting selves?

            As a person begins to focus within, rather than to others or their environment, to determine the type of person they are, want to be, and can become they will understand  that their self concept can be changed for the better if they are willing to put forth the effort.  To do this, one must first accept and acknowledge certain traits about themselves that they are unable to change such as physical traits, heredity, or mental challenges.  They must also realize that there are many things about themselves that they are able to change for the better such as reactions to events in their lives, their outlook on life, their self-esteem, and their presenting/perceiving selves.  By surrounding ourselves with supportive and encouraging individuals is extremely important.  When I say supportive, I mean individuals that see you as a unique individual and not part of a reference group.  This is important because we must not compare ourselves to others, but rather who we were yesterday.  Is our outlook on life better?  Am I doing better in school?  Am I giving things my all?   Am I living up to the expectations that I have set for myself?  Are the expectations I have set for myself doable, by my own standards?  These are important questions one must ask themselves. 

            We can present our faces to others.  Each person may react differently to the faces that we present to them, so it is important that we ask ourselves if we are being true to ourselves.  Is this who I wish to present to the outside world, or just a face that I have become content with displaying to others?  Am I proud to be who I am?  Am I comfortable with doing what comes naturally, and just being myself, or am I putting on an act to impress a certain reference group?  Am I engaged in self defeating habits?  Am I allowing others to determine my self concept, or am I truly looking within?  If a person feels the need to impress others in order to keep face, I believe this is a self defeating habit because you are not being true to yourself, and the most important thing in life is to be true to yourself while not conforming to what others think you should be.  This is the only way to true happiness and content.  I believe that many individuals have allowed others views of them shape who they are as individuals while allowing others to create their sense of self worth.  They must learn to look within, notice their talents and realize their potential for growth while also knowing their limits, so that they will not be disappointed or discouraged by failure.  

            This is where optimism, positive outlooks on life, and laws of attraction comes into place.  When we have supportive and encouraging individuals in our lives, we can learn to look on the bright side of even the worst situations.  We can become resilient, and view every opportunity as a learning experience rather than a win or lose situation.  When we truly self actualize we can learn to accept both the good and bad aspects of life, and also be proud to stand by both our failures and our successes.  We learn that life is not a competition against others, but rather a challenge and competition within ourselves.  Failure can tell you that you are not capable, or failure can tell you that you will do much better next time.  Will you let others determine your fate, or will you create your own?  Which will you choose?

I CHOOSE FREE WILL!

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