Some individuals, rather than
choosing to be the best possible versions of themselves, choose to live their
lives by social comparison. Rather than
coming up with their own specific goals, standards, values, and expectations,
they choose to live life by what others view as acceptable or appropriate. There are specific talents and traits that
lie within each of us that make each of us unique compared to all other individuals, and through
self-reflection, a person can become aware of the infinite possibilities that
lies within them, learn to accept the things that they cannot change, and
choose to work on the things that they can.
From the time a person is born, their identities and
self-concepts are shaped through their environments and interactions with
others. Significant others can
tremendously effect the way we view ourselves, and our self esteem, since the
opinions of the ones we care about tend to be important determining factors in
our reflected appraisal. Our looking
glass self tends to determine our choice in behaviors and interactions with
others as we tend to act out in ways that are expected of us by others. What if we chose to do some self evaluating
to see if our self-concept was positive or negative, or if the significant
others in our lives were passing a supportive or negative influence in our
lives? Is our self-esteem good or
bad? Do we feel like we can give tasks
our all? Do we think that we can accomplish
things that we put our mind to? Can we
not compare ourselves to our reference groups, but rather to our perceived and
presenting selves?
As a person begins to focus within, rather than to others
or their environment, to determine the type of person they are, want to be, and
can become they will understand that
their self concept can be changed for the better if they are willing to put
forth the effort. To do this, one must
first accept and acknowledge certain traits about themselves that they are
unable to change such as physical traits, heredity, or mental challenges. They must also realize that there are many
things about themselves that they are able to change for the better such as
reactions to events in their lives, their outlook on life, their self-esteem,
and their presenting/perceiving selves.
By surrounding ourselves with supportive and encouraging individuals is
extremely important. When I say
supportive, I mean individuals that see you as a unique individual and not part
of a reference group. This is important
because we must not compare ourselves to others, but rather who we were
yesterday. Is our outlook on life
better? Am I doing better in
school? Am I giving things my all? Am I living up to the expectations that I
have set for myself? Are the
expectations I have set for myself doable, by my own standards? These are important questions one must ask
themselves.
We can present our faces to others. Each person may react differently to the
faces that we present to them, so it is important that we ask ourselves if we
are being true to ourselves. Is this who
I wish to present to the outside world, or just a face that I have become
content with displaying to others? Am I
proud to be who I am? Am I comfortable
with doing what comes naturally, and just being myself, or am I putting on an
act to impress a certain reference group?
Am I engaged in self defeating habits?
Am I allowing others to determine my self concept, or am I truly looking
within? If a person feels the need to
impress others in order to keep face, I believe this is a self defeating habit
because you are not being true to yourself, and the most important thing in
life is to be true to yourself while not conforming to what others think you
should be. This is the only way to true
happiness and content. I believe that
many individuals have allowed others views of them shape who they are as
individuals while allowing others to create their sense of self worth. They must learn to look within, notice their
talents and realize their potential for growth while also knowing their limits,
so that they will not be disappointed or discouraged by failure.
This is where optimism, positive outlooks on life, and
laws of attraction comes into place.
When we have supportive and encouraging individuals in our lives, we can
learn to look on the bright side of even the worst situations. We can become resilient, and view every
opportunity as a learning experience rather than a win or lose situation. When we truly self actualize we can learn to
accept both the good and bad aspects of life, and also be proud to stand by
both our failures and our successes. We
learn that life is not a competition against others, but rather a challenge and
competition within ourselves. Failure can
tell you that you are not capable, or failure can tell you that you will do
much better next time. Will you let
others determine your fate, or will you create your own? Which will you choose?
I CHOOSE FREE WILL!
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